Should I Leave My Wife

I had just found out where our first orders were and was not thrilled over the location. I caught my wife in an affair 7 years ago. But how you do you answer the big question. Am I right to be concerned, or am I overreacting?” Many women share this concern. Separation Advice: 5 Things To Avoid In Your Separation. How Long Must I Avoid My Ex? The length of time you need to disappear from your ex's radar screen for will vary depending on how long you and your ex were together and how serious the relationship was. Should I Get My Wife Involved? 99% of the time, the answer to this question is no. My sick husband is living his story. Complete our free Is My Marriage Over Quiz and find out immediately how your marriage is doing. ” “My wife thinks there is nothing wrong with our marriage, but she has no idea. Your spouse wants to separate. Question: I cannot bear my wife's alcoholism any longer. It's not just sex it's so much deeper, so much. I'm a woman, left my husband for a friend of his. I have had to work and do all the hosework, cooking and cleaning. I want to leave my wife but I dont dare just tell her I have a girl on the side and I want my buddies wife really bad. 5 year-old son and a 1. “Anyone who has had to grapple with the unfortunate choice of whether to stay in a troubled marriage or leave knows that this is not. Reprinted from "Couples" issue of Visions Journal, 2015, 10 (4), p. As a spouse, you get an option most heirs don't -- rolling over the 401(k) funds into your own IRA. Not being sure if you should break up with someone or not feels awful. The Marital Home and Divorce - Answers to Your Questions. Living together / cohabiting. Communication can break down all too easily in relationships. I'm having some trouble with past feelings and insecurities with my wife. Can I leave my stepchildren nothing if my husband dies? By He’s seen many cases over the years “where the second wife doesn’t want the first wife or first wife’s family to have. Can I leave my employee pension to my spouse or to my child? by FreeAdvice staff It is generally possible to leave your employee pension to your spouse or your child, meaning that if you pass away, the payments will continue to be made to the specified survivor. Dear Doctor Life Advice, It has been over three years since my wife and I have made love, actually there is no intimacy at all. She does not care to spend time with me and does not seem to care. My wife is being advised to go for £900 spousal maintenance. When I stepped out into the hallway attempting again to leave, I was moved. Specific gifts, which leave a particular object or dollar amount to a particular person, are optional, but are generally the first items of property that are distributed from a last will. Naming who should get the life insurance money after a wife owns a life insurance policy on her husband's life and names their adult daughter as beneficiary. “I adore my husband, but I don’t want to have sex with him. Deciding to divorce when your spouse has a mental illness is a difficult, complex decision. By 5 Things To Avoid In Your Separation ” Stacy Miller says I get cheated on 20 days later I get evicted by my wife and uncles which she never notify the property till I pay it off she plan it good she said except the baby was not in her plan she wanted to become legal by. Lost my job. Not entirely happily, though—for the past five years. But if I leave her I'll be in the financial pits. You may think things haven't been right for a while but still feel undecided about whether you could work through your issues. In my off hours, I love collecting baseball cards, running my rental real estate properties, going on vacations with my four kids and hearing my wife talk about all the cool things CPAs do at work. Instead, it is then that you should step back from the situation, emotionally removed and do some serious thinking and. During that time a noticeable disconnect has occurred between my wife and I. She is also married with three children. Who Should Move Out When A Marriage Ends? March 12, 2013 By Mandy Walker Leave a Comment It used to be assumed that it was the husband who would move out once divorce was in the works and the wife and kids would stay in the marital home at least temporarily until the finances were resolved. 'Getting my finances together was a bit overwhelming. Her response is always in agreement and she acknowledges that we should "do it" more often, but she never follows through. he isn't obliged to support me… and the house is as l said tied up legally and even if it weren't real estate is at an all time low here. She would not leave my space on my side of the room. During a recent argument, the husband had mentioned that maybe they would just be better off if they got a divorce. It was the shock of a lifetime. I want to leave my wife but we have two boys ages 5 & 10 who I love more than the wife and lover, but I can't take not being with my soulmate, my lover of the past 7 yrs. I've had expirence because I was to late to notice the signs on my girlfriend that its time to break up. My wife decides she really wants a gold watch that costs $999. In divorce, who gets the house? The family home tends to be the central concern when considering the capital resources of a family. HiI have recently split form my wife due to my affair, we should have split. Honestly, there are probably hundreds of signs your wife might be considering divorce, but I've narrowed it down to the 11 most common signs that I've heard over and over again from other men Inside the Haven so that you can quickly see how to tell if your wife wants a divorce. I left as my wife treated me poorly,never helped at home or paid towards bills although she worked. Do Both Husband and Wife Need Their Own Wills? Your Will is a document that allows you to transfer the property that you own on your death to the people or groups that you want. now he promise me that he is change but am afriad I may b wasting my time waiting for his return but he may be the same play boy. May you find the right people and resources, and may you know without a doubt what you want to do with your life!. Some time ago, Bob posted a story on our original Bipolar Blog called “Heartbroken and devastated from ending a marriage with my bipolar wife. Maybe you did not understand… My wife is talking to 3 of my ex's girlfriends and one is when I was in my 20's… I am 42 now and my wife 39… Why is she talking to them it is immature… I am a liar now and I hear this because of the ex's and it's sad for me… I left my wife Dec 2016 and it did hurt a lot cause I did truly love her…. I moved to a different city for job and meanwhile because of parental pressure she married someone else from her community. I make $58k with no debt. She likes to be on top so she can move and hit her g spot but she suggested I place a pillow under my butt so it raises me up and I can go in a little deeper. My wife agreed to watch Blade Runner with me. To leave one's wife is to suggest (by example) that Christ abandons His own. I was a wife willing to stay and keep my vow, no matter what. I retired a year-and-a-half ago. We went to marriage counseling during this time however my wife decided she didn't "like" the sessions and she stopped going. I still feel a HUGE attachment to this girl. This wife happens upon another reason for smart estate planning. It is not right for a woman to expect faithfulness from her husband and yet stack everything against his being able to be faithful. I have had more than 200 conversations about intimacy with my wife and she just doesn't get it - she never will. It was a no-win situation. I don't see her wanting to quit and I do not want my daughter growing up that way. To be honest, I don’t think we should work things out with a girlfriend who has opened her legs to another man. We patched things up and honestly - I've trusted him for years - more so than I've ever trusted anybody EVER. Rating: Boyfriend by: Beberly I'm so unhappy my boyfriend had a stroke 2yrs ago and refuse to do anything other set in front of the tv and smoke cig and weed and waits on me to do everything he has set so long he can very walk now the strong cause him not to be able to talk I'm just done I want to leave him he gets mad at me for telling him he needs to get up and move and walk more I work in a. But we first noticed it when my wife was driving. 23 Signs Your Partner Is Mentally Abusive & How To Get Help. The truth is I am actually okay with that. I want to leave my wife but I dont dare just tell her I have a girl on the side and I want my buddies wife really bad. A loveless unhappy marriage is not worth experiencing. There are certain things you should never tell your husband -- no matter what. Like someone has answered here, the romance between a man and a woman slowly ends, a few years into marriage. Also, it worked out. Some would wholeheartedly disagree and say mothers should always be first. Should I leave my wife for my lover? so. It was the hardest most terrible thing I have ever done. Although my partner hasn't been formally diagnosed, after many months of research, talking to others and recounting my many experiences I suspect that my wife has BPD. She has basically said there is no hope. Once when I was in a bad way with my wife and once when I was in a good way. " "My wife thinks there is nothing wrong with our marriage, but she has no idea. I didn't want to argue but an infection incubation period is at least a day, much more than 10 hour period to develop. My only desire is to work things out with my wife. I'm ashamed to admit it, but my husband did almost everything when it came to money. He asked me, “Do you believe that it was My will for you to get married?” I replied, “Absolutely, I believed that with all my heart. It was so hot seeing her after I had just seen her totally naked in the photos. Should my spouse and I separate? Dr. If this girl loved you she wouldn't have up and left you for these four years, especially if there was no contact. " "There is someone at work who actually wants me, and I can't even get that kind of attention from the person I married. When my wife died, I informed OPM and sent them the paperwork needed to eliminate the reduction in my annuity to provide a survivor benefit for her. What can I do?. A QUICK AND EASY GUIDE TO SSI Can I get SSI or SSDI if my husband/ wife works? 6 How old do I have to be to receive disability If you leave the country for. You're a bad husband and father and that younger woman is a whore. she tells me she is true. After all, it was my gift to my husband and so he should get to keep it. Only you know whether or not your marriage will and should survive cheating me to spy on my wife's. I've had expirence because I was to late to notice the signs on my girlfriend that its time to break up. Whoa! The other night my friend showed my photos of his wife naked. my wife is filing for separation by mutual consent. Love requires work and commitment. Deciding to divorce when your spouse has a mental illness is a difficult, complex decision. We were young and healthy, and he had a successful real estate career. I am a man who has been married to my wife for 32 years. Once when I was in a bad way with my wife and once when I was in a good way. I was truly heartbroken that someone would discount my grief in such a harsh manner. Although sacrifice may be inevitable, when the time comes to do it, it’s not always easy. You don’t have to file for a divorce but a consultation with a divorce attorney will help you understand your legal divorce rights and how to protect yourself and any marital assets should the affair mean the demise of. We patched things up and honestly - I've trusted him for years - more so than I've ever trusted anybody EVER. It takes a lot of courage to admit that it's a real, serious problem, to take action, and to reach out to others for help and support. I should also mention he has 5 kids with 3 women. Marriage vows say in sickness and in health,I know it's stressful but how can you leave someone. Then she even wanted me to leave her all of my assets including my late wife's 401K and her life insurance to her (because I was an old and sick man and she would have to take care of me). The amount of money and physical assets you will have to pay your wife in a divorce depends on how long you were married, your respective incomes and whether you signed a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage. D, specializes in OB/GYN at Riddle Hospital, Main Line Health. If you're looking for more help answering the question "Should I stay or should I go?", read more articles in Unhappy Marriage?. Also, it worked out. While it may be painful to say goodbye, keep in mind that breaking up can have positive results, too. A will contest or will challenge is a lawsuit brought in the probate court to test whether the will is valid according to the law. My wife threatened suicide for the very first time tonight. I have admitted to my misgivings. When love turns into hate and fondness into bitterness, and when negative sentiment override seems to be dominating your interactions, it’s likely a good time to question whether or not it’s worth staying in a relationship that simply may not be making you (or your partner) happy. If I stay I'll perish. — Laura, Texas. You don't have to file for a divorce but a consultation with a divorce attorney will help you understand your legal divorce rights and how to protect yourself and any marital assets should the affair mean the demise of. I tell her I can't afford to spend money on something like that in our current situation. For my day job, I'm a high school government and economics teacher and school counselor at a private Christian school. Before you say anything about me. As with any major financial decision, it’s best to consult your mortgage lender first before you decide to leave your spouse off your mortgage loan. So, in a moment you will likely come to realize that my question in the topic title was not asked in any sort of serious fashion, however, when you read the story that is to follow (which is actually true) you may yet have an answer to the question. I loved him so much and sometimes I felt he demanded too much from me. You will always have to be on your guard. My prayer for you is for peace and wisdom, as you decide how to leave your husband. The dilemma I am a 50-something well-educated man, married for nearly 30 years, with two children at university. Did you not marry before God?. It's likely that before you read this article you were thinking, "My wife wants to leave me and there's nothing I can do to stop her," but as you can see, it's not impossible. This wife happens upon another reason for smart estate planning. To be honest, I don’t think we should work things out with a girlfriend who has opened her legs to another man. You can do this by obtaining a credit card, but remember you want a card that is in your name only. Hehounds my wife to the point I wanna leave her the love of my life he stole her also do don’t talk about love he is a junkie POS. But most importantly, face your inner fears and don’t be in denial. During a recent argument, the husband had mentioned that maybe they would just be better off if they got a divorce. we reconciled after 10 mos of being apart, in those 10 mos we both found other companionship. View comments. So many stick with mediocrity, settling for low. But most importantly, face your inner fears and don’t be in denial. It was the shock of a lifetime. Women want to be attracted to their husbands. When the love triangle involves a married man having an affair, the guilt and pain can be unbearable for at least one of the parties. If you don't do anything for it, then yes it will die. Chaos Kids refuse to accept responsibility or admit that they are wrong. We have two beautiful children and I dont think I can ever find a better woman than my wife so coming here and saying what I am going to say now is really hard but its what I feel after 12 years of marriage. Another wife, Jamie-Lynn recalls some of the best advice she ever received, "was from an Army wife of 12 years. I love my wife, but have never found the soulmate connection. he's sleeping in the spare room and keeping a low profile. My husband got another woman pregnant and the child is now a year old. When Can I Leave My Cocker Spaniel Home Alone? At what age can a cocker spaniel be left at home (8-4) while I'm at work? Reply from Pauline (Web Owner) Hi Jason, Cockers don't like to be … How Much Should I Feed My Cocker Spaniel? How much should I feed my cocker spaniel? He's not a pure breed and weighs 15 kilos. My wife lost confidence in me and I am feeling very depressed. Many couples may not want to leave their retirement accounts to each other—perhaps you have reviewed your estate planning and decided that because each of you will be financially comfortable, you want the money in those accounts to go to a child from a previous marriage, or to a favorite charity. Some would wholeheartedly disagree and say mothers should always be first. I changed my name when I am a citizen. She's trying to make it work in her marriage, but she hates it. Should I tell OPTrust if I get separated or divorced? Yes. I don’t know if my wife has savings. This is another indication that you should secure your financial status and then talk. Whatever the problem is, you're wondering whether it's time to call it quits. In other words, there are some things that are in your control and others that are not. she tells me she is true. “I adore my husband, but I don’t want to have sex with him. Question: I cannot bear my wife's alcoholism any longer. Maybe your partner is lazy. I would like to share a conversation I had with God during this time as I wondered, should I divorce my husband? I had asked Him if I had made a mistake by getting married. I received this mail from one of my readers, let’s call her Ann, and I think she accurately describes one of the most common problems in marriage—especially marriage after children. The wife suspected that he was only throwing this out there to get a reaction out of her. This issue of my being overweight permeates every area of our marriage. I was at his house and he showed me the photos right before his wife came home. I hate my wife but love my kids too much to leave herhelp? I really can not stand the person my wife has become. Now your significant other can choose to forgive you or leave. I still live at home as my wife. I have had more than 200 conversations about intimacy with my wife and she just doesn't get it - she never will. She is very young and got married at a young age. i dont leave my baby to cry sp i. Here, we will answer the personal question, "My husband has cheated on me. Just my quiet presence helps her. Her response is always in agreement and she acknowledges that we should "do it" more often, but she never follows through. Finding out that your other half has been sexting when you thought your relationship was going well is a. Does Stepmom Have Rights to My Kids If Their Dad Is Not Around? then your husband can leave them with his wife or anyone else that is suitable while he is gone. Six months that I have been paying for my choice through reduced access to my most amazing children ever. Should I be worried of that or is it normal? to leave my. What To Do When Your Wife Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With You “I’m definitely not getting enough L. Any arrangements for finances or care for children should be negotiated up front so that communication can be limited strictly to emergencies. My wife has a strong desire to have children, and for me that represents a risk or threat to the freedom that I want. Therefore, evaluating what toll staying in this marriage is taking on your counselee and her children is a legitimate concern. If I am a Christian and believe in Jesus and my wife does not, what should I do? Answered by Thomas Gaston · 30 June 2010 · 3 Comments In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul encourages believers with unbelieving spouses to stay together, saying "the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy. They are here willing to help you through your hard times. Did you not marry before God?. Should I Leave My Wife? Hello. Hank leave. Commonly, one partner discovers the other to be having an affair after collecting evidence, or after catching their partner "in the act. There’s also contemplating whether you should give the relationship another try or leave it. You should also know that leaving or threatening to leave is NOT a sure way of making your partner feel sorry about their behavior and want to change. It’s not my place to force someone to leave it. Should I leave my wife for my lover? Posted on April 10, 2015 by One of the Guys in a woman's looks, Ask the Guys, booty call, breaking up, breakups, cheating, cheating in relationships, divorce, guys, Relationship Advice: Question/Answer, relationships // 0 Comments. This can. Should I leave my wife for my lover? so. She likes to be on top so she can move and hit her g spot but she suggested I place a pillow under my butt so it raises me up and I can go in a little deeper. I am divorcing a hoarder. Q? I bought a house with my girlfriend. My question to the hive mind Do I leave my wife?. Judgement from NY state that wasn’t renewed at the 10 year mark. Re: Should I divorce my wife because lack of sex? Help! The same thing happended to me for about 16 years until one day I decided I could no longer live feeling rejected and I start by telling my wife that I won't have sex with her if she was not going to show that she also want me. My wife is a beautiful woman and when she wants to be very friendly and people really like her. My wife is devastated and now says she would like to work on repairing the damage of my affair and some of the underlying issues behind our relationship problems. If you don’t have any credit in your name alone, you should establish some now. Complete our free Is My Marriage Over Quiz and find out immediately how your marriage is doing. That was the first time I didn't react to that tactics. ” This is a major life decision. She claims she was lonely, craved attention and is lost and confused about alot of things. She likes to be on top so she can move and hit her g spot but she suggested I place a pillow under my butt so it raises me up and I can go in a little deeper. splitter truth: i have never really been attracted to my husband. Since we have been married my wife has been put on medication for depression and anxiety yet both of us are pretty good. If you're too selfish to leave your wife without having someone else to go to then hopefully your wife can get rid of you and find someone. what about my kids. Charlton lived in a trailer out behind the house for three years. Some people can't handle the thought of losing there loved one and they leave before the spouse can leave them. Finding out that your other half has been sexting when you thought your relationship was going well is a. My problem is that my wife has continued to limit the amount of sex we have even though I have spoken intimately with her about how important it is that we have sex more often. My twin pushed me away because she doesn’t want to hurt my family, and she can’s stand sharing me with someone else. I have been married for 8 years, together for 13yrs. Can I force my husband to leave? Linda's Question: I am going thru an ugly divorce. All this time she has basicly done nothing. And so it was that, even if my new lover had refused to take me, I would still that. I left my wife and children for this woman, 7 years ago. Getting a divorce - Free Divorce Test: Find out if you should get a Divorce or Stay Married. Whether or not you want a divorce, it is in your best interest to consult with a divorce attorney if your wife is cheating. I met my wife when I was 21 and at that point I definitely wasn't self-aware enough to know what I wanted from a r'ship. She gets on the chat lines which didn't bother me until last night. Craft your exit strategy carefully, make a plan, and prepare for the road ahead. My wife is being advised to go for £900 spousal maintenance. JOHN FROST and his wife had been unhappily married for much of their 25 years together when his company relocated him in 2000. She would not leave my space on my side of the room. bright and loving wife, a 3. As far as my response to the man in this post, I did not say leave his wife for the other woman, I said leave his wife if all of his reasons to leave are genuine and he is genuinely unhappy. 'How can I ensure my house goes to my children, not my step-children?' Ask an Expert: We look at how parents can create a trust to ensure their property is passed to their chosen beneficiaries. Some time ago, Bob posted a story on our original Bipolar Blog called “Heartbroken and devastated from ending a marriage with my bipolar wife. He needs me now more then he ever did. Making the decision to leave a marriage is scary: There's often a deep fear of being alone, not to mention the possibility of an unknown future. He’s a great man. There is much to say for perseverance. If you don't have any credit in your name alone, you should establish some now. Should I get a divorce? You promised 'til death do us part, but now you're having doubts. Mostly what I was interested she was. " She says she is leaving and taking the kids with her. weve communicated a few times with me expressing a little to much emotion, she has not mentioned divorce but has been very non responsive when I text. Because we are in a lease should I continue to pay the rent while he is there?. 23 Signs Your Partner Is Mentally Abusive & How To Get Help. But if you think about it, it can all be fixed if you choose to fix it. Should I be worried of that or is it normal? to leave my. Husband cheated for years with prostitutes was created by Anonymous We did have some problems in the beginning - he had some serious issues with porn and I actually almost left him because of that. Have 2 children 14 amp 9. He needs me now more then he ever did. Children should respect and take care of their. These tips on how to leave a man you love but can't live with will help you decide if it's time to say good-bye. Separation Advice: 5 Things To Avoid In Your Separation. I've had 2 EAs 5 years apart. Rebuilding after you've caught your spouse in an emotional or sexual affair requires good boundaries. I am a successful, 33-year-old man, and I have been married for about 12 years. When Your Spouse Won’t Forgive Your Infidelity. sonia vargas on July 8, 2019 at 6:21 am. I have been married for 8 years, together for 13yrs. You can do this by obtaining a credit card, but remember you want a card that is in your name only. Marriage vows say in sickness and in health,I know it's stressful but how can you leave someone. After a couple of weeks, I discovered she was facing the same problems as me. Six months that I have been paying for my choice through reduced access to my most amazing children ever. Here's how one woman describes her struggle: "My husband. This experience shows couples what divorce feels like. I love my wife, but have never found the soulmate connection. He asked me, “Do you believe that it was My will for you to get married?” I replied, “Absolutely, I believed that with all my heart. But how you do you answer the big question. Leslie Hardie, LCSW, and John Haney, PhD. So, in a moment you will likely come to realize that my question in the topic title was not asked in any sort of serious fashion, however, when you read the story that is to follow (which is actually true) you may yet have an answer to the question. The Marital Home and Divorce - Answers to Your Questions. Every year we get a reminder to take our cars in for an MOT to ensure that they’re roadworthy. Instead, it is then that you should step back from the situation, emotionally removed and do some serious thinking and. It’s really hurt. I do write a lot about men, but in my defense, the vast majority of couples who seek my help are initiated by women married to narcissistic men. Six months since I left him for another man. My wife has a strong desire to have children, and for me that represents a risk or threat to the freedom that I want. My dad put up with a lot and she was a neurotic control freak, violent and beat her kid’s and stabbed my dad on hand with a knife when he tried to leave-THATS when he should have left. This really pissed her off but I am SOOO glad I told the dirt bag to stop it. I was still depressed about family member passing away. My wife Brenda shares about a similar journey in The Healing Choice, co-written with Susan Allen: Any wife who is enduring the pain of a husband's porn addiction is experiencing the most shattering, deep kind of pain she may ever encounter. Dear Man that's. Should I be worried of that or is it normal? to leave my. ” In his story, Bob talks about all he would do. Also, it worked out. Marriage vows say in sickness and in health,I know it's stressful but how can you leave someone. I also worry about the financial aspects. These questions and answers concerning the marital home and divorce can help with the various issues that need to be considered when dividing one of the biggest assets of the marital estate. When love turns into hate and fondness into bitterness, and when negative sentiment override seems to be dominating your interactions, it's likely a good time to question whether or not it's worth staying in a relationship that simply may not be making you (or your partner) happy. Do I have the right to tell mine? Caring for my sick husband, I am going through untold suffering. And so it was that, even if my new lover had refused to take me, I would still that. I have a really hard time. And this is the part where I feel my gut clench; I find my fingers covering my lips. But I did it because I loved her more than I'd ever loved anyone. My wife and I love to take 2-6 week trips to places like New Zealand. It has been six months since leaving my husband. I often get e-mails disputing my advice and opinion. My girlfriend cheated on me with her ex so I am just going to get laid with another woman and see what comes up. 23 Signs Your Partner Is Mentally Abusive & How To Get Help. From what you have written its easy to guess that your wife has severe anxiety issues, insecurities and maybe chronic depression as a result if her past. And strangely, I still love her! I've been to an A. Six months that I have been paying for my choice through reduced access to my most amazing children ever. You can set out who (if anyone) gets to keep the house, what do to with the contents of the property, and how any savings should be split if you separate. A stranger can't tell you if you should leave your wife because you don't love her. Forget her. I didn't want to argue but an infection incubation period is at least a day, much more than 10 hour period to develop. What happens if my home is in my ex's name? 'If the home is in just your partner's name, you're less likely to have any right to stay or to share in the proceeds if the home is sold. It would make it hard on my daughter, but I know in either effect it would be harder to be a family with broken trust. But how you do you answer the big question. Dear Bel, About 30 years ago, when I was a young man, I met a girl. and I want to believe in Iris. Because we are in a lease should I continue to pay the rent while he is there?. I would like to add more information so that readers are clear on my meaning. Asked me to. I love that part of it! My kids and I have grown so close. It's also been 26 years for me too and my wife also doesn't know it, but I am going to leave her when I am financially stable. Can My Husband Get Money I Saved in the Bank Under My Name During Our Marriage?. As with any major financial decision, it's best to consult your mortgage lender first before you decide to leave your spouse off your mortgage loan. Courts recognize it is unhealthy for people in high conflict to. MORE: I Refuse To Let My Wife's Depression Ruin My Marriage. Should my spouse and I separate? Dr. What do you do when you don't want to stay married but are afraid to get divorced? I should mention that my wife is wonderful and is willing to give me space but. If you don’t have any credit in your name alone, you should establish some now. HiI have recently split form my wife due to my affair, we should have split. I'm a woman, left my husband for a friend of his. And that my wife has never forgiven me for my past cheating and probably never will. The fact-checkers, whose work is more and more important for those who prefer facts over lies, police the line between fact and falsehood on a day-to-day basis, and do a great job. Today, my small contribution is to pass along a very good overview that reflects on one of Trump’s favorite overarching falsehoods. Namely: Trump describes an America in which everything was going down the tubes under  Obama, which is why we needed Trump to make America great again. And he claims that this project has come to fruition, with America setting records for prosperity under his leadership and guidance. “Obama bad; Trump good” is pretty much his analysis in all areas and measurement of U.S. activity, especially economically. Even if this were true, it would reflect poorly on Trump’s character, but it has the added problem of being false, a big lie made up of many small ones. Personally, I don’t assume that all economic measurements directly reflect the leadership of whoever occupies the Oval Office, nor am I smart enough to figure out what causes what in the economy. But the idea that presidents get the credit or the blame for the economy during their tenure is a political fact of life. Trump, in his adorable, immodest mendacity, not only claims credit for everything good that happens in the economy, but tells people, literally and specifically, that they have to vote for him even if they hate him, because without his guidance, their 401(k) accounts “will go down the tubes.” That would be offensive even if it were true, but it is utterly false. The stock market has been on a 10-year run of steady gains that began in 2009, the year Barack Obama was inaugurated. But why would anyone care about that? It’s only an unarguable, stubborn fact. Still, speaking of facts, there are so many measurements and indicators of how the economy is doing, that those not committed to an honest investigation can find evidence for whatever they want to believe. Trump and his most committed followers want to believe that everything was terrible under Barack Obama and great under Trump. That’s baloney. Anyone who believes that believes something false. And a series of charts and graphs published Monday in the Washington Post and explained by Economics Correspondent Heather Long provides the data that tells the tale. The details are complicated. Click through to the link above and you’ll learn much. But the overview is pretty simply this: The U.S. economy had a major meltdown in the last year of the George W. Bush presidency. Again, I’m not smart enough to know how much of this was Bush’s “fault.” But he had been in office for six years when the trouble started. So, if it’s ever reasonable to hold a president accountable for the performance of the economy, the timeline is bad for Bush. GDP growth went negative. Job growth fell sharply and then went negative. Median household income shrank. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped by more than 5,000 points! U.S. manufacturing output plunged, as did average home values, as did average hourly wages, as did measures of consumer confidence and most other indicators of economic health. (Backup for that is contained in the Post piece I linked to above.) Barack Obama inherited that mess of falling numbers, which continued during his first year in office, 2009, as he put in place policies designed to turn it around. By 2010, Obama’s second year, pretty much all of the negative numbers had turned positive. By the time Obama was up for reelection in 2012, all of them were headed in the right direction, which is certainly among the reasons voters gave him a second term by a solid (not landslide) margin. Basically, all of those good numbers continued throughout the second Obama term. The U.S. GDP, probably the single best measure of how the economy is doing, grew by 2.9 percent in 2015, which was Obama’s seventh year in office and was the best GDP growth number since before the crash of the late Bush years. GDP growth slowed to 1.6 percent in 2016, which may have been among the indicators that supported Trump’s campaign-year argument that everything was going to hell and only he could fix it. During the first year of Trump, GDP growth grew to 2.4 percent, which is decent but not great and anyway, a reasonable person would acknowledge that — to the degree that economic performance is to the credit or blame of the president — the performance in the first year of a new president is a mixture of the old and new policies. In Trump’s second year, 2018, the GDP grew 2.9 percent, equaling Obama’s best year, and so far in 2019, the growth rate has fallen to 2.1 percent, a mediocre number and a decline for which Trump presumably accepts no responsibility and blames either Nancy Pelosi, Ilhan Omar or, if he can swing it, Barack Obama. I suppose it’s natural for a president to want to take credit for everything good that happens on his (or someday her) watch, but not the blame for anything bad. Trump is more blatant about this than most. If we judge by his bad but remarkably steady approval ratings (today, according to the average maintained by 538.com, it’s 41.9 approval/ 53.7 disapproval) the pretty-good economy is not winning him new supporters, nor is his constant exaggeration of his accomplishments costing him many old ones). I already offered it above, but the full Washington Post workup of these numbers, and commentary/explanation by economics correspondent Heather Long, are here. On a related matter, if you care about what used to be called fiscal conservatism, which is the belief that federal debt and deficit matter, here’s a New York Times analysis, based on Congressional Budget Office data, suggesting that the annual budget deficit (that’s the amount the government borrows every year reflecting that amount by which federal spending exceeds revenues) which fell steadily during the Obama years, from a peak of $1.4 trillion at the beginning of the Obama administration, to $585 billion in 2016 (Obama’s last year in office), will be back up to $960 billion this fiscal year, and back over $1 trillion in 2020. (Here’s the New York Times piece detailing those numbers.) Trump is currently floating various tax cuts for the rich and the poor that will presumably worsen those projections, if passed. As the Times piece reported: